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Eeyorefan04
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Name: ~M~
Metro:
Gender: Female
Interests: art,
music and shows,
working with younger children,
attempting to scrapbook,
sports and weighlifting, running,
church, bible study
pro-life, having a fun time
Expertise: sleeping, painting, procrastination
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/18/2003
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| It's been awhile since I've posted here. I've been pretty loyal to blogspot lately. www.utahboundmalinda.blogspot.com
My xanga has too many memories of the past to write in this thing frequently. I should just transfer everything over to a word document and then shut it down. However, the thought of shutting down something I've been keeping since like 9th grade is too much to bear. I'm sentimental that way.
Things in Provo have been busy yet rather uninteresting. I just finished the introduction for a possible thesis. It was due at midnight...I e-mailed it at 12:10...hopefully he won't be too stringent on the deadline. I'm feeling rather motivated so I might just keep working on my literature review that's due on Tuesday. It's the same topic so I might as well keeping trucking through the Friday night that I already spent on homework.
I joined a local gym (well, actually it's a chain...but unfortunately there aren't any in Pennsylvania). I bought 5 personal training session along with my membership. They've been...informative.
On Sunday, I called Carlos in Ecuador. It was sooo good to talk to him. I use the remaining $7 of my Skype credit to talk to him.... I was surprised to see how much Spanish I really remembered. I even had the accent down.
That's about the extent of my life right now. Oh yeah, and I'm going home to visit in 35 days!!!
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| So, I got a half tuition scholarship and a 20 hour teaching assistantship. I'm pretty excited. My tuition is now down to about $1,300 a semester...that puts me at a little bit over $5,000 for my entire Master's program. And, if I'm working 20 hours a week at $16 an hour...I'm pretty set. Then, there's summer time. I'll have plenty of time to work...unless I go to Ecuador to work on my thesis then.
I am scared/nervous about moving out there but it would be really stupid of me not to take this opportunity. I often wish I would have transferred to BYU as an undergraduate student like I wanted to my junior year....I'd be about $25,000 less in debt. But a lot of good caming out of Messiah as well (especially my friends) so I can't complain too much.
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| I've had a pretty down week. I tried to cure it by keeping myself
around people: it didn't always work so great. At times, it made me
feel even worse. In a way, that feeling worse was a good thing. It made
me realize how much I need to get out of this area. How my move to Utah
will allow me to be my own person without worrying what everyone around
me thinks about me in comparison to my past. It'll be a brand new
start...I'll be able to wipe my slate clean. I just need out of this
area. I often feel alone, unwanted, left out...it's a crappy feeling
and I know it's not true, but it's just something about being in this
area. As high school classmates are starting to wed, I realize that I'm
not a part of the celebrations. But hey, it's all good because while
high school classmates are off celebrating the wedding of two
Susquenita folks, I will be in the wonderful city of Brotherly Love
(and Sisterly Affection) celebrating the matrimony of two very
wonderful people.
So,
a couple weeks ago, my friend Scott and I were playing tennis when two
guys from our graduating class came to the courts as well. They greeted
Scott and didn't even acknowledge me (which, in the end is OK, because
I didn't say anything to them either) but it just made me start to
wonder...did I do things the wrong way? Was I too busy being
"Christian" and avoiding temptation rather than befriending people.
Then I always have to think about my strength...and how I have fallen
around alcohol lately. If I had befriended more people, would I still
be who I am today or would their actions have affected me instead of me
affecting their actions? Is it possible to be a silent witness without
developing relationships with people? Anyway, the situation did make me
feel bad, but mainly only frustrated with myself.
I'm ready to
start over. This past week eased my social anxieties about moving. Now,
I just to calm the financial ones. I've realized just how awesome Utah
will be and how awesome it will be to let my faith grow without having
everyone's else opinions pull me in several different directions. How
great it will be to be surrounded by so many young adults with similar
beliefs instead of it always being 2, 3, 4, even 5 people "debating"
the only Mormon (who really doesn't want to "debate" in the first place
but feels the need to stand up for what she (or at least for what the
other Mormons) believe. I'm tired of other people judging whether I'm a
Christian...is it really their place to make that call??? | | |
| Well, in about 60 hours I'll be in flight back to the great state of Utah, which will hopefully be my home for the next 2 (and maybe more) years of my life. I'm really excited. I'm going to get some pretty amazing people during my five day stay. Whoot! And it'll all start with Chris picking me up from the airport. Hopefully I'll get to meet up with Bloxham and Russell and see the lovely Hermanas from Ecuador.
Maybe I'll post while I'm there...but probably not.
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| Well, it looks very probable that I'll be spending another two years in school: I got accepted into a masters program at BYU!!! Yay! I'm excited to have the opportunity to head out west to Utah for a couple years!
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